While most us will behave like slob kebobs on Thanksgiving Day, Macy’s is inviting customers to start shopping.
A new commercial promoting Black Friday aired today, capturing the magic of seasonal greed and ruining everything that is good about Turkey Day.
The retail giant enlisted Jessica Simpson, Thalía, Ryan Seacrest, Heidi Klum, Ariana Grande, Clinton Kelly and Martha Stewart to lure customers through their doors at 6pm Thanksgiving Day.
Donald Trump wasn’t invited because Macy’s fired him for calling Mexicans a bunch of criminals and rapists.
Stewart and Seacrest lead the charge in the video, with Stewart first slapping the hand of a pilgrim who tried to sneak a treat.
Kelly dressed an elf, Klum got carried by balloons gifted to her by a clown, Thalía shook her hips to the beat of a marching band, and Simpson cut a sales tag in half because Chicken of the Sea.
“Only Macy’s could give America a parade on Thanksgiving and the biggest sale of the year on Black Friday”, Seacrest said from his stage in menswear.
Stewart came over to tell Seacrest to lock it up because his schtick was too much. It was all so… hammy. Why can’t they do something lovely like this?
Grab your coupons and get ready to stand in line for hours to save $6 on a microwave, because Macy’s is making your holiday dreamz come true.